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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25488859">Take My Hand</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chalybeouss/pseuds/Chalybeouss'>Chalybeouss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gentle Park Jinyoung, Jackson Wang Needs A Hug, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam Being A Brat, M/M, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:54:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,850</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25488859</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chalybeouss/pseuds/Chalybeouss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson is cracking under the pressure of the worlds expectations, and Jinyoung isn’t prepared to let him believe that he’s a burden. </p><p>Bambam just wants his Hyung’s to eat Bulgogi.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jinson - Relationship, Park Jinyoung &amp; Jackson Wang, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Take My Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Someone+I+Love">Someone I Love</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy birthday to my dear friend, I won’t mention your name because I know that just like Jackson, being the centre of attention isn’t something you want. But I just want you to know that I’m always here for you, and I wish you a very happy birthday xo</p><p>~ Love from your frog queen</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jackson felt it as it started, the small and seemingly unnoticeable tremors that took root within his knuckles like minor earthquakes. His chest rose and fell slowly, hiding a heart that was beating so fast inside his throat that he wondered if he was going to choke on it as it attempted to suffocate him from the inside out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The twenty six year old tried to steady his breathing, hold it in an attempt to not draw unneeded attention to himself. It was difficult, impossible, his throat wouldn’t allow him to swallow down the panic that was latched onto his heart like a leech sucking the life out of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt like he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>dying</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Jackson couldn’t stop the tears that welled up in his eyes as it became more and more difficult to stabilise his breath. He knew in that moment, the moment his throat closed and his lungs began to burn, that he was far past the point of being able to calm himself down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jackson eyed himself in loathing through the gargantuan mirror that expanded across the wall before him, his panicked inhales and exhales echoed off every reflective surface of the empty practice room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everywhere around him he was haunted by the mimics of his own antics, each direction his dazed and perplexed gaze wandered was met by a devious reflection of himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wished that the mirrors were water so that he may step into one of them, drown himself in its gentle embrace as it softened the burning within his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Calm down… calm down…” he whispered to himself in an attempt to prevent the inevitable from completely taking over his mental well being. It was too late, Jackson knew it, and his body knew it too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jackson couldn’t bear to look at himself any longer, his watery eyes, shuddering shoulders and the way his inky black hair was beginning to stick to his forehead as if it belonged there. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> it, couldn’t stand the way his own reflection showed him every single imperfection that he possessed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He closed his chasmic eyes and cradled both of his shaking hands to the unstable safety of his chest. Jackson was afraid, insecure, hesitant about what the world had in store for himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Always, </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> there were questions that left his thoughts catatonic, questions from himself </span>
  <em>
    <span>to</span>
  </em>
  <span> himself that he was unable to answer. Jackson was afraid, scared, insecure about absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, everything that he would never say to another living soul, because he dared not burden others with his own miserable and irrational sufferings. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And so, there he was, alone, surrounded by himself when he wanted nothing more than to shake the skin free from his own bones. He wished to be someone else, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>prayed </span>
  </em>
  <span>for it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yearned </span>
  </em>
  <span>for it until it left him awake in the middle of the night victimised by the darkness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It didn’t matter how tightly he blinded himself with his eyelids, how harshly he chomped onto his lip in order to not completely break. He was already broken, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tears fell before he could stop them, the whimpers broke free from the cage of his teeth and he did nothing to prevent it as he completely fell apart in isolation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jackson didn’t know what it was that would heal the seeping and gaping hole of incompleteness inside his heart, he supposed that there was nothing to be of constant repair to the damage that was so deep rooted within him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was nowhere to run, nowhere to turn to without having to worry someone else with his panicked behaviour. He could no longer hear anything besides his own anxiety, he could concentrate on nothing but the way it shook through his breath like a chill upon the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It would be just like every other time that Jackson was absorbed in a world of heated nausea, he would cry as silently as possible to himself in front of a mirror that he couldn’t escape, mask the gasps of his panic attack into nothing more than perfecting his dancing in the practice room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And just as he was about to open his eyes, face the dried salt stains and forming storm drains that streaked down his cheeks, a sound broke through the protective barrier that he had worked so hard at hiding from the world of invasion around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jackson’s entire body stilled to the best of its ability when the familiar echo of the practice room door broke through his unnerved haze. He couldn’t breathe in that moment, he couldn’t cope with the aftermath of being so exposed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t open his eyes, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span> not know who the unfortunate soul was that stumbled upon him in one of his many moments of weakness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even as footsteps approached him from behind, he found himself unable to move, unable to react. His fight or flight instincts were broken. Maybe he wanted to be found, maybe some sick, twisted part of him believed that someone could seal the cracks in his heart with flakes of gold. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And yet, although his body had become as stagnant as possible, the shakes didn’t stop, the sobs that grew and grew within his chest didn’t cease. He was breaking down in front of someone who could be a complete stranger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hot breath hit the back of his neck like the gentle summer disrupted the fall of snowflakes. Whoever had broken through his wall of disarray, did not intend to leave without painting it in their shadow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until a pair of hands grabbed him gently by the shoulders that Jackson realised the presence behind him was familiar. He knew those fingers, their soft but firm touch that seemed to soothe half his body in an instant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hands trailed across his chest to be replaced by strong arms, arms that held him tightly and pulled his shivering back into the embrace of a beating heart. He felt the weight of a chin rest upon his right shoulder, the fluttering texture of hair brush against his blotchy cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A hand rubbed the side of his arm soothingly, in a manner that was so real and raw, and not just a figment of his panicked hysteria. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, I’m here now. You aren’t alone.” A melodic voice promised wholeheartedly as Jackson sobbed louder than he ever had before in the room made of mirrors. The arms around him tightened, and Jackson couldn’t stop himself from turning around to finally look his salvation in the eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jackson lasted all but a few seconds before letting himself go, there was nothing that could stop the breakdown that came from looking Jinyoung in the eyes. His eyes that were so safe and gentle, full of nothing but compassion for the man that was shattering to pieces in his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabbed onto the front of Jinyoung’s blue sweater and paid no mind in soaking it with the product of his misery, he mumbled many a broken “sorry” as his world closed into darkness once again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It worried him for just a moment, an agonising moment where his anxiety told him that crying into the younger man’s chest was </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>, as if he didn’t deserve to be comforted by someone who had fought for the exact same dream as he had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All it took was Jinyoung’s hand on the back of his head, hot fingers tangled in his sweaty hair and an arm enclosed around his waist to let Jackson know that the other man didn’t detest him for being so pitiful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, you’re okay, I’ve got you.” Jinyoung said again, voice soulful and deep and so full of adoration that Jackson couldn’t help but weep in happiness and desolation all in the same breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s hard,” the younger man whispered, some type of sorrow belonging only to him confidentially admitted to Jackson in that moment. “I know sometimes it feels like it would be more rewarding to give all of this up,” Jinyoung said sullenly, and for a moment Jackson regretted everything about the situation they were currently in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But we have so many people that love us, so many people that adore and support us with everything they’ve got.” Jackson heard the break in his friend's voice, the way the other was holding it together for his sake. “And even when you feel alone, you aren’t alone,” the younger man promised and pulled Jackson’s head more firmly against his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have me, you have </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Jackson sniffled when Jinyoung pulled him back and placed both of his big hands on Jackson’s cheeks, a gentle thumb rubbed away one of his tears sweetly before their foreheads were guided together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinyoung smiled at him, a sweet and honest smile that pulled his lips into the shape of a bow, one that was probably carved by Cupid himself. And that was when Jackson remembered all that they had been through together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure when he had forgotten to rely on the people who meant the most to him, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>brothers</span>
  </em>
  <span> that built him up whenever anyone tried to tear him down. There was no rumour, scandal or article that could stop his six life long confidants from loving or cherishing him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have me too, all of you.” Jackson whispered, voice croaky and full of remnants that he wished to forget as one final tear slid down his cheek, which Jinyoung immediately collected with the side of his thumb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope so, because we can’t do this without you.” A new voice broke the comfortable atmosphere, Jackson turned his head and almost started crying again when he saw the familiar face of their Thai group member at the practice room door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The twenty three year old didn’t step through the threshold, he just held onto the door frame and gifted Jackson and Jinyoung with the most playful and infectious smile that he didn’t need to force or muster. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jackson made to respond, but he didn’t get the chance to before Bambam turned away, he didn’t miss the words that the younger spoke as he made his way down the hallway. “You guys better hurry up, Yugyeom keeps trying to eat all the bulgogi, and I don’t think Mark can fend him off for long.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinyoung laughed, and Jackson no longer felt like the walls were closing in around him. Their eyes reconnected, no longer distracted by the fairy-like presence that had briefly blessed them with a less somber mood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want bulgogi?” Jinyoung asked, hands still cradling Jackson’s face as if it were a globe of the earth and he was searching for his favourite destination. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jackson responded by lowering his head and resting it on Jinyoung’s shoulder, he wrapped his arms around the sweater clad torso and pulled the younger man closer. “Soon,” he mumbled, “I’m not sure if I’m prepared to battle our youngest for meat just yet.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jinyoung laughed again, and Jackson smiled when he felt arms close around him. </span>
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